


Underneath the Christmas Tree

by starlight_and_seafire



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Christmas, Developing Relationship, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Modern AU, POV Poe Dameron
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-24 11:57:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17100152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starlight_and_seafire/pseuds/starlight_and_seafire
Summary: Poe Dameron usually loves all the Christmas traditions. He adores all the colorful lights, the delicious eggnog, and the festive celebrations.Maybe not the mistletoe, though.





	Underneath the Christmas Tree

“This is fantastic, buddy!”

“Careful, man. That stuff is more potent than it tastes,” Finn warns, watching as Poe takes another sip from his large glass of eggnog.

Finn’s hosting the annual “squad” holiday party at his and Rose’s, and the cozy house is teeming with all of their friends. It’s Rose and Finn’s first Christmas together sharing the house, and the house is decked out in bright, glowing lights, colorful wreaths and garlands adorn the walls, a large Christmas tree is set up in the corner, and more than a few sprigs of mistletoe hang throughout the house.

The moment he walked in to the party, Poe made sure to catalogue each and every instance of mistletoe in the house. Sure, getting caught unawares under one was pretty awkward in general, but honestly, the main reason he’s trying to avoid them is currently standing across the room, next to the Christmas tree, talking to Rose and Jess.

She was gorgeous in an emerald green dress, a wide smile gracing her face as she talked to the other women. The bright lights from the tree were catching in her hair, making her seem like she was glowing from the inside.

He don’t think his heart could take getting caught under the mistletoe with her, not when she only thought of him as friend, not when he loved her and she didn’t know.

It wasn’t always like this, Poe thinks. They had started out as friends, meeting through Finn, and were quickly joined by Rose. Their friendship grew through late night movie and pizza sessions with the four of them, bowling and putt-putt, board game nights, and the occasional, usually ill-fated camping trip. And it soon became evident that Finn and Rose were growing closer, often sneaking away for some privacy, which inevitably led to the opportunity for him and Rey to get to know each other even better. And when Rose had moved in with Finn about six months ago, Rey moved out to give them their space, only to end up splitting a condo with Poe, whose own roommate had moved out around the same time.

Of course, when she moved in with Poe, Poe was simultaneously agreeing with her about what a fantastic idea it was that she was moving in, still keeping their little friend group together, while simultaneously mentally berating himself at how awful an idea it was to invite her to  move in and sleep only a room over from him, all the while his heart felt like it would beat out of his chest in an effort just to be closer to her.

At some point, he had fallen head over heels for her. He was so in love with her that he was terrified, desperately trying to keep his mouth shut, scared that he would lose her as a friend, even though it felt almost physically painful not to tell her how he felt.

She didn’t like him in the same way. And he would never foist his feelings upon her unwillingly, even if she was the brightest thing his eyes had ever seen.

Poe shakes his head and quickly takes another gulp of his eggnog, before hoisting his glass towards Finn. “I’ll be fine. But cheers on this fantastic party!”

Finn clinks his glass against Poe’s. “Thanks, man. But trust me, that thing packs quite a punch.”

“You’ve got to be joking. I can’t even taste any alcohol in this,” Poe says, rolling his eyes.

“Han gave me that recipe. He told me he and Lando created it when they were first starting out in business together.”

Poe turns to look at Finn, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape, glancing down at his cup before looking back at Finn.

Finn raises an eyebrow at Poe, grinning as he claps him on the shoulder. “Exactly. Just thought you should know what you’re getting into before going back for thirds,” Finn says, his eyes darting somewhere over Poe’s shoulder. “Or fourths, or whatever.”

Poe almost turns to look at whatever Finn was looking at, but he’s distracted when Finn gives him a little salute and wanders off to talk with a few members of his rugby team who had just walked in. He takes another sip, still trying to taste the alcohol in the sweet, rich drink, knowing it must be there but still unable to taste even a hint of booze in it.

If it was created by Han and Lando, he knew it was sure to pack quite a punch. He’d heard enough stories about the man from Rey and Leia, who he’d worked for at Alderaan Technologies. Poe had even sat with the man when he had come over to watch baseball games on Sunday’s with Rey, and Poe inevitably joined in, as he always did whenever he had the opportunity to be near Rey. But he grew to know the man during those games, grew to like him despite his somewhat gruff exterior (even if knew from Rey’s and Leia’s stories that his gruff exterior hid a heart of gold). But one of the main things he learned during those long Sunday afternoons is that the man knew how to concoct a powerful drink.

He’s just over halfway through his drink, pondering whether to head over and talk to his old roommate Snap, and his fiancée, Karé, or whether he should scope out the scene (and snacks) in the kitchen. Just as he’s about to see how Snap is doing, he turns, and feels his heart seize in his chest as he realizes what Finn must have been looking at.

Rey’s no longer standing by the tree talking with Jess and Rose. No, now she’s standing with her back to the fireplace, a sweet smile on her face as Aaron, one of Finn’s friends, stands in front of her, a hand propped up on the mantlepiece as he leans in to Rey.

Poe feels a hot burble of jealousy well up within it, though he hurriedly tries to stamp it back down. The man is clearly flirting with Rey, and she must be enjoying the attention, as the usually brash Rey seems to have turned almost shy as she glances up at the tall, handsome man through her eyelashes, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear as she laughs at whatever clever thing Aaron just said.

Poe’s never thought of himself as a jealous man before, never had the patience to deal with that emotion in others, but he’s clearly feeling it now, and he slams back the rest of his eggnog as he turns to head into the kitchen for another cup.

\--

When Snap manages to sneak up on him, he realizes he probably had one too many eggnogs.

“I wasn’t sneaking up on you!”

“S’cuse me, but clearly you should wear a bell,” Poe manages to say without slurring any of his words.

Well, not slurring too terribly.

Snap laughs at him. “Poe, I’m pretty sure I managed to step on every creaky floorboard when I was walking over,” and he holds up a finger to Poe as Poe goes to interrupt. “Plus, I approached you from the front while saying your name. What’s got you so distracted?”

“Nothing,” Poe says, short and blunt. He wouldn’t say he’s pouting, he’s too much of an adult to _pout_ , but –

“What’s going on over here? Why is Poe pouting?” Finn asks as he walks over to join the small group.

“I’m not pouting!”

Snap practically folds over in half as he lets out a loud belly laugh. “Poe’s had a little too much to drink, and now he’s saying I sneaked up on him when I walked up to him.”

“You need a bell!” Okay, so he’s probably pouting.

“He didn’t see me coming from right in front of him. He’s distracted by something, and now he’s got me curious.”

Finn’s look of concern morphs into amusement and a smile tugs at his lips as he hears about Poe’s sudden distraction. “One, Poe, I distinctly remember warning you about the eggnog,” and Snap nods along sagely, even as he takes another sip of his own eggnog. “And two, would this distraction happen to involve a mutual friend of ours? Maybe a friend that you wish wasn’t quite a friend, maybe something more,” he says, poking a finger into Poe’s side, earning a glare from Poe, and causing Snap’s eyes to widen in recognition.

Apparently, Poe’s feelings aren’t quite the secret he hoped for.

But as long as they remain a secret from the woman in question, he’ll suffer a little teasing from his friends.

“She does look really amazing tonight. No wonder she’s got half the single guys here trying to flirt with her,” Snap says, grinning even as Poe turns to give him the most intense glare he can.

If their laughter is anything to go by, it doesn’t work. He huffs, rolls his eyes, but still manages to clap Snap on the shoulder and nod at Finn before making up some excuse about getting some water.

He’ll suffer a little teasing from his friends. But hearing about the girl of his dreams flirting with another guy twists a dagger into his gut, and all he wants to do is find a nice place to mope.

He heads down the dark little hallway that leads to the back of the kitchen. He manages to avoid the crowds, as only Finn and Rose’s bedroom is back here, with the entrance to the back of the kitchen just before the door to their room.

“Were you looking for privacy, too?”

Poe wasn’t exactly paying attention before, but at the sound of the voice, his head whips up. His eyes meet Rey’s, a tired, but pleased, grin on her face as she looks at him.

He wasn’t expecting to see her, and he’s not exactly in the right state of mind to formulate an immediate response, but he manages to nod and hopefully mumble something that fits.

Whatever he comes up with, it seems to work, and she pats the space on the wall next to her, a clear invitation to join her. He takes the offer, leaning back against the wall even as he panics a bit, still a little off kilter from being teased by Finn and Snap about the object of his affections, who also happens to be one of his best friends in the world, and who is now leaning into him as they stand against the wall.

He’s a little drunk and feeling a bit stressed at the moment. He’s hoping that he doesn’t say something stupid or snarky, which more often than not seems to be his default when he’s stressed.

“You having a good night?” He gives himself a little mental high five at the relatively normal question.

“Yeah, it’s been really lovely, actually,” she says, a small, but pleased, smile on her face. “What about you? I feel like I haven’t seen you all night.”

His mind unhelpfully flashes to the memory of that guy leaning in and flirting with Rey. “Oh, I’ve been around. You know, catching up with everyone and all that.”

“Same. I feel like I’ve been talking my head off catching up with everyone this evening. It’s nice to catch up with them all, but I just need a break from all the people, you know?”

Poe knows. Between the two of them, he knows he’s the outgoing, people-oriented person, perfectly happy to be in the middle of a large group. Rey, while not shy or quiet exactly, much prefers smaller gatherings. “You want me to leave?”

“Nah. I can be alone with you,” she says, smiling over at him. She has a fond look on her face, and he practically feels warmer at the look. After a long moment, she sighs, tilting her head back to rest it against the wall.

He sees her eyes immediately widen though, and he glances up to see what has caught her attention.

A sprig of mistletoe hangs on the ceiling above them.

He had forgotten this one was back here. His heart starts racing in his chest, and he doesn’t know what to do.

Rey breaks the silence first. “Finn really hung these things up everywhere, didn’t he?”

Poe nods, unable to respond with his heart caught in his throat like this. He coughs, trying to clear it. “I don’t see anyone else around, we can make our escape, if you want,” he manages to squeak out.

Rey looks at him, a teasing grin on her face. “And I thought you were one for celebrating all the Christmas traditions,” she says, making no effort to move.

“No, I just – I meant that if you – we don’t have to do this if you don’t want.”

“Are you embarrassed, Poe Dameron?” She asks, before her expression becomes a little more thoughtful. “Do you not want to kiss me?”

Poe’s eyes widen a little, and he takes a quick breath in before leaning over and pressing a quick kiss to her cheek.

She laughs lightly and shakes her head at him. “Is that it? That doesn’t seem like a very proper kiss.”

He’s not sure what possesses him to do it, whether it’s the subtle teasing, the whirlwind of emotions he’s felt that evening, or if it’s the way her eyes seem to shine and she’s practically glowing. But he can’t resist. He leans in, and despite the voice in the back of his head telling him to keep it at a simple brush of the lips, he can’t help but press a bit closer, a hand coming up to cradle her cheek, his fingers pushing back into her hair, his tongue running across her bottom lip . . .

She gasps, and it breaks through the delicious fog settling in his head, and suddenly he knows he’s gone too far. He pulls back, an apology already falling from his lips.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean – I’m sorry,” he says, his hand running through his hair. Her hand has gone up to cover her lips as she stares wide eyed at him. One of her hands comes up, reaching out towards him, and he’s so sure she’s gonna say something he can’t quite bear to hear yet, gently letting him down now that she’s surely figured out his feelings for her, something like _I just don’t feel that way, but we can still be friends._ He’s always going to want to be her friend, no matter what, but he just can’t hear that from her now, not while his heart feels like it’s breaking. He shakes his head, says “I’m so sorry” once more, before he turns and makes his escape down the hallway.

One of his friends is thankfully stone cold sober and quickly agrees to give Poe a ride home when Poe tells him he’s feeling a little sick, blaming it on the eggnog.

He thinks he feels eyes on him as he gets into the car, but he can’t bring himself to look back.

\--

Truth be told, it’s still early, and he doesn’t expect Rey to be back for at least a few more hours. So, he keeps all the lights off in the condo, and goes to plug in the Christmas tree lights. Within a few moments, he’s lying on his back, his face under the tree, as he gazes at the colorful lights through the branches.

It’s a lovely sight, even as the colors seem to start swimming together. He brings a hand up to wipe at his eyes, and sighs.

He’s not sure how much time has passed since he’s arrived home, maybe fifteen minutes if that, so he’s surprised when he hears a key turn in the lock and the door opens. He tenses, already trying to steel himself for what he knows will be Rey’s sympathetic look and gentle letdown.

She tosses her bag on the couch as she steps around it, a confused expression on her face as she looks down at him where he’s lying beneath the tree. She approaches slowly, as if she was wary of scaring him away, and then she’s kneeling beside him, twisting around until she’s lying beside him beneath the tree. He can feel her eyes studying the side of his face while he keeps staring resolutely at the lights above them.

Her voice is soft when she asks, “Why’d you run?”

“I prefer to think of it as a tactical retreat,” he says, trying to make his tone lighthearted. He’s pretty sure he fails at it, though.

“A tactical retreat? From what? The Poe Dameron I know is scared of nothing.”

He knows she’ll drop this conversation if he asks. She might be endlessly curious, endlessly stubborn – all qualities he adores about her – but she’s also kind, and won’t push him, or anyone, further than they’re willing to go. But it seems he can’t help himself, unable as usual to deny her anything she’s asked. “I’m scared of losing you,” he says, even as his voice comes out weaker than expected, now that they are skating around the edges of the truth.

“Losing me? You can’t lose me. You’re my best friend,” she says, confusion clear in her voice.

He winces.

Her voice is soft when he hears her say, “Poe, what is it?”

And maybe the drink has loosened his tongue (or maybe it’s just because it’s her), but he can’t help himself anyway, cause if there’s one thing he has always prided himself on, it’s his honesty. He has to admit it. He can’t lie to her, could never even begin to fathom lying to her.

He sighs at the realization that the truth is about to come out, whether he’s prepared for it or not. He turns his head to the side, finally meeting her gaze, and he takes a moment to study her face, wondering if this might be the last time he really gets an opportunity to do so, now that things will probably become awkward between the two of them. They’ll remain friends, he’s sure of that, but he knows things will never be the same again.

He smiles at her, softly, a little wistfully. “Rey,” he begins, even while still trying to search for the right words, words that will hopefully not scare her away. “I’m sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean to get so intense about the kiss. I know you were just expecting a quick, friendly kiss, and I just went completely over the top with it,” he says. Her lips are twitching upwards as if she’s trying to bite back a smile, and he wonders how quickly the look will fall away now that he’s about to put it all out on the table. “Rey, it’s just – I’ve been in love with you for the longest time, and then there was that mistletoe right there, and you were standing there looking so beautiful and teasing me about the kiss and . . . and I’m sorry – I just let my head get away from me.”

He doesn’t realize he had squeezed his eyes shut, not until he hears her laugh, something sweet and almost jubilant in the noise, and his eyes spring back open.

“Poe Dameron, did I just hear you say you’re in love with me?”

“Yes,” he just barely manages to stammer out. He’s not entirely sure what’s going on, hadn’t been expecting the wide smile currently gracing her face, thought by now she’d have been slipping out from beneath the tree, away from him.

He wasn’t sure it was possible, but her smile seems to widen further, and he feels something warm, something like hope, bloom in his chest and . . .

“I’m in love with you, too, Poe,” she says. “I didn’t think you felt that way about me.”

He’s glad that he’s already lying down as he feels like the floor has given out beneath him. He’s overjoyed, but his brain seems to have stopped working altogether, and he’s pretty sure he looks a little crazy just gazing at her with what he’s sure is some wild, dopey smile on his face.

He’s pretty sure he looks like an idiot, but he doesn’t care, not at all, not when she’s smiling so sweetly at him and saying, “You just going to sit there, Poe? Or you wanna try that kiss again?”

“The kiss sounds good,” he says, his voice a little higher pitched than normal, and she huffs out a little laugh at what he knows to be his complete inability to be smooth or suave at all in this situation.

Luckily for him, she’s never shied away from taking matters into her own hands as she manages to shuffle just a little closer, until their shoulders are brushing, and places her hand on the side of his cheek. It’s a bit of a tight fit beneath the tree, but within a moment, she’s pressing her lips against his. It’s sweet, and warm, and everything is so _good_ in this moment that he feels like his heart just might burst out of his chest.

He sighs a little as she pulls away, and he opens his eyes to see her still so close, the bright colored lights glowing around her. He strokes his hand over her hair, then along her cheek, smiling as she presses her face into his hand.

“You really love me?” He can’t help but ask.

“Yes, I really love you, you big doofus,” she says, laughing.

“I love you, too,” he says, and he can’t help but join in her laughter, feeling impossibly bright and giddy.

She smiles, and strokes her hand along his arm, until it reaches the hand that cradles her face. “I know.”

On a cold, December day, while lying underneath the Christmas tree, he’s learned that the woman he loves, loves him.

He thinks this just might be the best gift he’s ever been given.


End file.
